The 10th Sex
by Seiberwing
Summary: While attempting to escape Torkulon again, Scourge gives Spike a lecture on Cybertronian ideals of gender and sexuality. Spike doesn’t completely appreciate the education. Contains slash.


Author's Note: This was written for the livejournal lgbtfest prompt _Transformers (anyverse): Any characters. Human characters have difficulty dealing with the fact that the Transformers don't necessarily conform to the gender/sexuality standards they expect. _

**The 10****th**** Sex**

"So explain the plan to the one guy who doesn't have an internal radio."

"They come in, I disrupt the energy barrier, we kill them and take their stuff, we find our own stuff, and try to get out with our sanity intact."

"And my job is basically to not get stepped on."

"Look, I'm not liking this anymore than you are. Last time somebody dragged me to this awful place we nearly got our CPUs fried. At least you don't have a CPU in the first place."

"No, I'm just squishy and the height of everyone else's knees."

It was supposed to be a routine recreational outing, which in itself should probably have been the first warning sign. An intelligence mixup with Laserbeak had led the Unicronians to attack the Autobot ship en route, thinking it carried some sort of important Autobot weapon instead of Rodimus, Wheelie and a pair of Witwickies out for a metaphorical Sunday drive.

By the time anyone noticed that they'd crashed on Torkulon it was already too late. They were summarily sedated, stuck in cells of a cushy but powerful nature, and the damn dirty psychotherapist apes had taken Cyclonus off to be studied.

"I just wish we didn't have to wait so long. I'm worried about Daniel, he's probably terrified by now." Spike stretched out on the soft, gel-like substance and watched Scourge continue to poke around in the locking mechanism embedded in the innards of the cell wall. Through some obscure logic that only they could interpret, the Torkulonians had put them in the same cell, explaining gently that Scourge seemed to be the least violent of the lot and his interactions with a weaker being might be therapeutic. As a Decepticon, Scourge found this very insulting and claimed that being a coward in the face of danger did not mean you couldn't be violent when you wanted to be.

"Hey, my wingmate's the one off getting his head inspected due to 'trauma bonding derived from a history of physical and emotional abuse'. The most your kid's probably doing is clinging to the minibot and trying not to wet himself." Scourge cursed and pulled his hand back, waggling a singed finger in the air to cool it off. "What I can't figure is why they put Prime and Galvatron together. They couldn't break his mind last time, why do they think Prime will have an effect on him?"

Spike shrugged, and felt the ground underneath him move ever so slightly. "Like you said, they're insane. At least Galvatron's stopped running into the energy barrier and thinking that the eighth time's the charm."

There was a loud squishing noise from behind him and the wall bent ever so slightly. Scourge raised an optic ride (optic brow? Spike had no idea what they called them when they had neither eyes nor eyebrows). "What's going with them?"

The floor wobbled, vibrating from the shock of people in the next cell being thrown against it. Scourge tilted his head, scrutinizing the wall with sensors that went beyond human perception. A slow, wicked grin crossed his face. "Clever 'bot, your Prime is…"

"What? What's Rodimus doing?"

Scourge reached into the wall panel again. "Nothing to worry about. Rodimus is just giving Galvatron a little stress relief so he doesn't keep beating the walls and getting the Torkulons to sedate him again."

Spike backed away from the wall a bit, well-versed by now in Decepticons ideas of stress relief. "By letting Galvatron beat him up?"

"Not exactly..." Scourge chuckled sinisterly, watching as the horror spread across Spike's face. "Come on, human. You've lived with our kind for twenty years and no one's explained the concept of physical intimacy to you? Prime's having as much fun as Galvatron is."

The cell wall bulged again and Spike skittered backwards, gaping in horror. "You guys can…what…how…" The human's palms flew up to cover his eyes, as if to somehow gouge the images of his son's childhood friend having hot robot sex (how did that even work?) with the leader of the Decepticons. "Ew!"

"Don't go 'ew' at me, I've seen how your kind do it," Scourge replied, still far too smug. "At least we don't have fluids going all over the place. Usually. Galvatron gets pretty rough sometimes and I've seen him inflict a heck of a lot on Cyclonus with the electrowhip, although it's not like Cyc complains--"

"Stop talking! Please!" Spike's hands flew to cover his ears as the Sweep leader laughed raucously. These were images he didn't need. Ever.

Galvatron made a weird kind of sense. He was a big purple guy with a giant phallic object attached to his arm, maybe it made sense he'd swing a bit funny. But Roddy? He thought Roddy liked Arcee. "Since when is Rodimus Prime gay, anyway?"

Scourge snorted derisively. "He's not gay."

"Bisexual, fine."

"Not bisexual either, fleshling. None of us are." Scourge held up a single, slightly charred finger. "We've only Igot/I the one gender. It's you fleshlings that are the freaky ones."

Spike shrugged awkwardly, curling up with one knee at his chest as he watched Scourge work. "I guess I can—wait, hold on. What about Elita 1 and her group, or Arcee? They're chicks."

"They're female. Females are…" Scourge waved a hand about awkwardly. "Well, they're weird. Different. Until a few years ago we weren't even sure they existed. Lot of people wouldn't mind it if they stayed that way, although they're mostly the old ones."

"We had two genders back around the times of the Quintessons, or at least the records seem to think so," he continued, squinting into the little half-organic circuitry. He seemed to actually be enjoying having something to talk about, which made Spike wonder if he was more nervous than he let on.

"After the Quints left the whole separate gender thing just sort of…phased out. I mean, what's the point of being weird and different when it doesn't mean anything? It makes people uncomfortable. By the time Megatron kicked off for Earth nobody even thought we had any females left." Another spark, another curse and waving of singed fingers. "Who designed this thing? I can't even reach into the back."

"Can I help?" Spike asked like the eager little human sidekick that he'd been ever since the Autobots entered his life.

"If it means that much to you." Scourge reluctantly picked him up between two fingers and stuffed him unceremoniously into the crevice in the wall. "Wiggle in until you hit the end of it. My arm can't fit in that far."

"Right." Spike slid in around the bulky wires and cables that didn't even begin to resemble functioning machinery, and at times seemed to be more like tentacles than machinery. "Was that why everyone was so surprised when Elita's group turned up?" he called back, still perversely curious about this unexplained aspect of Cybertronian culture. He'd asked a few Autobots about it when Arcee turned up, but everyone seemed too embarrassed to even discuss the subject.

"I think so, I wasn't exactly myself at the time. It's not that anyone was going to go around underestimating them, it was just that nobody knew we even had females anymore. Turns out being female was more a programming glitch than a fad, and we'd had them all along, they'd just hadn't said anything about it. After the female group reappeared and kicked collective Decepticon aft halfway to Darkmount, a lot of females on both sides started…what do you guys call it? Coming out of storage?"

"Coming out of the closet." Spike sidestepped a wire, trying to ignore how it seemed to turn to follow him as he moved. He kept Scourge talking, just so he knew someone would be paying attention to him in case he got attacked by random tentacles.

"Yeah, that. Started not being such a stigma anymore, although you'd probably never get an Autobot to say it, stuck up prudes that they are. People used to mostly think of females as being bitchy, clingy, overemotional and oversexed and not good for much else. Elita impressed a lot of people, and as much as we hate Autobot scum we can appreciate a good warrior when we see one."

Another wire was trying to curl around his ankles. Spike wondered if this place was designed to drive you mad, to make it easier for the Torkulons to 'treat' you. "I've never even seen a female Decepticon."

"Not surprised. Most of 'em are too covered in weapons for most people to notice until they start talking. Some of them don't even bother getting their bodies changed after they figure out they're different, they just identify female and keep going with life. You to the back yet?"

"Almost." Spike wiggled around what looked like a purple and mildly slimy screw and touched the back of the narrow corridor. "Yeah. Now what?"

The light was blocked out as Scourge peered into the opening, lighting up the Torkulon circuitry with a pale reddish glow. "That fat one, with the orange casing? Yank it out and try not to touch the end of it."

"Got it." Spike set his feet and began heaving, quickly stepping aside as a dark fluid came pouring out of the port. He really, really hoped that it wasn't some crude analogue to blood or another unsavory substance. "So exactly how do you know so much about this sort of thing? No offense, but you're not exactly the intellectual, ngh, type."

Scourge paused, tugging for a moment on his metal beard. His voice lowered, just in case the soundproofing on the cells decided to up and vanish somehow. "Not like it's anyone's business, but I had a Sweep come out funny one time. She needed a hand and I did some research for her. Nothing big, just helping her out a little."

Spike violently repressed the image of a pregnant Scourge and any desire to find out how that worked. "Didn't know you were such a big softy."

"Shove it," Scourge barked coarsely. "It was that or her going to someone else about it and everyone blaming Ime/I for turning out a freak. Not like I'm responsible for their programming, I just bud 'em off. Now yank out the one next to it and plug it into the first one."

Pregnant Scourge was replaced with Scourge being followed around by baby Sweeps squeaking like deranged ducklings. Which…was actually sort of accurate. "Second one's out. Now what?"

"Now get out of there before the thing overloads, fleshling."

Spike scampered, the dark fluid lapping at his heels as he jumped out onto the cushioned floor. Scourge tilted his head ever so slightly, sending a message down the comlink and grinning as he received a reply. "They're ready. Soon as the barrier goes, we move out."

"Done having the physical intimacy, huh?" Spike scoffed, staying against the opposite wall so he could see Galvatron coming. He didn't trust the Decepticon leader to watch where he put his feet.

"Hm?" Scourge crouched up at the cell entrance, counting out the moments before the wall's circuitry shorted out and the people of Torkulon once more felt the Pit itself come down upon them. "Nah, my sensors say Galvatron still looks pretty het up. My guess is once we get out of here he'll finish up on whoever looks the least worn out. Might even let you watch, if you—"

"For the love of god, stop talking!"


End file.
